Webinar report: The importance of difficult conversations - providing valuable feedback

There are challenges on both sides of the feedback conversation. If you’re giving it you don’t want to upset or offend. If you’re on the receiving end your immediate reaction may not be the most productive.

None of us are immune to the emotional difficulties of feedback. However, honest assessments of our work can lead to personal growth and career progression, as Joanna Gaudoin outlined in her third 2026 Work smarter, connect better webinar with CLL.

Feedback: the opportunity

Think of feedback as a developmental opportunity. Yes, you may need to be discerning about who it’s coming from and how true you think it is but always listen carefully to what’s being said. If for example, you’re a big picture person and you’re getting feedback on the nitty gritty of your work, it follows that detail matters to your stakeholders. This then is an opportunity to realign your output with the expectations others have of you.

When giving feedback, it’s natural to worry about confrontation, upsetting people or even being disliked. This is why good relationships in the workplace are so important: they make difficult conversations a lot less awkward.

Giving feedback

Like any other meeting, a feedback conversation is one that needs careful preparation. Think about timing. At what point of the day is the person most receptive and least distracted by personal priorities such as school runs, etc? Would they appreciate prior notice or would the prospect of the meeting play on their mind and cause anxiety?

Never tack a feedback conversation onto another meeting. Give it the time and space it warrants.

Be direct, specific and straightforward with your feedback. Show empathy without being over-emotional or over-sympathetic. Focus on what you saw and what happened, not on who’s to blame. Think about what you need to say and how you’ll say it, but don’t rehearse it to perfection. If the meeting doesn’t go exactly as rehearsed, getting it back on track will be hard as you’ll be too wedded to your script.

Most importantly, make all your points actionable. End the meeting on positive note about what’ll happen next and when you’ll review the follow-up actions.

Make feedback a regular thing

Annual or even twice-yearly feedback sessions are no longer enough. The pace of development and the impact of social and political events mean that roles and expectations of people evolve far too quickly for occasional, and often brief, feedback conversations.

Use a combination of formal and informal feedback mechanisms.

Formal feedback sessions include staff appraisals, project wash-up meetings and scheduled one-on-one meetings. They usually follow a standardised format and may be recorded in HR files.

Informal sessions are more ad-hoc. They’re a great opportunity to both congratulate people and highlight areas for improvement in the immediate aftermath of a project or event. They help build relationships and prevent minor issues escalating in the period between scheduled formal sessions.

Receiving feedback

If you take exception to a piece of feedback, take a breath before reacting. It’s natural to give vent to our immediate emotions, particularly about something as personal as our competence in our job. However, there’s an important consideration to slot in between our ‘feeling and ‘reaction’ stages, and that’s ‘outcome.’

If the feedback you’ve had hurts, take time to consider what you really want the result of the process to be. Will the feedback get you closer to a professional goal? Will it help you grow? Will it improve your relationships? Consider the feedback in the cold light of day and let your conclusions inform a rational, dispassionate reaction.

The SARA model is a good way to acknowledge how you move through this process and how feedback can set you on an emotional rollercoaster of:

• Shock. What? Did I hear you right? I don’t think so!
• Anger. No way! You don’t get me. I can’t talk about this right now.
• Resistance. Surely some mistake? This doesn’t apply to me. What’s the point of trying? And
• Acceptance. What do I need to consider? What might be possible? Who may be able and willing to help?

Two feedback checklists

Over time, you’ll find yourself on both sides of the feedback equation. Here then is a checklist for each eventuality to help you get the maximum benefit from what is, after all, a powerful driver of personal growth.

Your checklist for giving feedback

1. Choose your time with the needs of the person in mind.
2. Set the tone. Choose a formal or informal session type according to the nature of the feedback you’ll be giving.
3. Make it objective. Talk about your observations, not who’s to blame.
4. Avoid labels. It’s a one-to-one conversation, not a telling-off.
5. Be specific. Focus on what happened and give examples of outcomes.
6. Read the body language to gauge how the other person is reacting to the conversation.
7. Make it a habit. The more feedback is part of the culture in your team, the less reason people will have to fear it and the more it’ll become a two-way thing.

Your checklist for receiving feedback

1. Listen carefully. Uncomfortable as it may be the feedback is most likely a platform for career growth.
2. Decide if you need further clarification.
3. If so, seek trustworthy sources of that clarification.
4. Use discernment. Apply your legal skills to judge the validity of the feedback and be intellectually honest with yourself about how you’ll respond to it.
5. Take action. Set objectives and plan how you’ll incorporate the feedback into to your work.
6. Link back to the feedback provider to show how you’ve taken the feedback on board.

Next up, office politics