Giving and receiving feedback can be tricky.
It’s only human to fear negative assessments of ourselves and nobody wants a clumsily conducted appraisal to upset a valued colleague. Yet personal growth is impossible without feedback.
Honest feedback is the lifeblood of openness, transparency and high performance in organisations. A mix of formal and informal feedback channels, with off-the-record check-ins throughout the year complementing formal appraisals, allows feedback to become a natural ongoing process and not just an annual set piece.
Not all organisations have this culture. However, whatever your seniority, you can start small in your team simply by asking for, or initiating, feedback. This is particularly important where key projects are completed months ahead of the annual appraisal season.
Giving feedback
When giving feedback to a colleague, either formally or informally, consider these core principles:
- Timing: as well as making time to discuss important issues, think about when a suitable time for the other person will be. Also, have you spent enough time getting to know your colleague and how they may respond?
- Tone: setting the right tone from the outset is vital. If, for example, your colleague is struggling you may need to build a broader conversation around welfare and job satisfaction before presenting your feedback;
- Objectivity: keep it balanced. Recognise what’s going well yet point to areas that can be improved upon for enhanced results, working relationships and your colleague’s own personal growth. Avoid labelling people and, if they get upset, allow them to take breaks to regain their composure;
- Specificity: be specific in your feedback and provide examples that support your points; and
- Next steps: feedback is only effective when it’s acted upon. Agree a plan and timescale for follow-up action and check in regularly to monitor progress.
Giving feedback upwards
A solid relationship with your manager is an essential foundation for upwards feedback, especially if they’re likely to be resistant to it. You’ll need to build trust and make them feel valued – and certainly not threatened – by you.
Also, explain the context of your feedback. Does it relate to how you interact between one another or how you work together alongside other departments? Is it about technical performance or personal behaviours? And even though you’re dealing with your manager, it can sometimes help to adopt a peer-to-peer approach on some topics – especially those that you’re recognised as an expert in.
Receiving feedback
When we receive unwelcome feedback, it’s natural to react in the moment without considering how we’ll be perceived. Avoid this this by thinking first about the outcome you want from the exchange. It’ll buy you time to provide a measured response and push the conversation in a positive direction.
Remember too, the SARA Model, which illustrates our typical stages of reaction to feedback:
- Shock: “Have I heard you right?” “Are you kidding?” This can also be an unspoken reaction, a stunned silence arising from a momentary inability to respond;
- Anger: a reflex reaction such as a flat denial, a sense of being singled out for criticism and/or a refusal to discuss the issue right now;
- Resistance: an early sign of engagement, but one that still rejects the premise. “This is a mistake,” or “this doesn’t apply to me,” are common responses at this stage: and
- Acceptance: full engagement in which we address the issues at hand, ask what we can do and identify who can help us.
To really benefit from feedback – both positive and negative – address what’s being said with this six-point checklist.
- Listen. Avoid jumping ahead or assuming you know what’s coming. The feedback may be something quite different to what you’re expecting.
- Clarify. Don’t stand for lazy feedback. Ask questions until you fully understand the detail and underlying motivation. This could mean having to…
- Clarify further through additional sources. If someone is passing feedback onto you from another person, keep digging until you get the full picture.
- Discern. Beware of dismissing feedback because you don’t agree with the person giving it or because it arose from a one-off circumstance that won’t repeat.
- Act. Address the feedback. Do you need to up-skill technically or develop new behaviours? Will it involve going on a course or simply reading a book or some articles?
- Link back. Demonstrate to the person who gave the feedback how you have acted and how things have changed in the period since. It’ll show them that they’ve been listened to and that you’re serious about your performance and personal development.
Making feedback count
Carefully considered feedback can boost your performance and, in turn, accelerate your career progression. Make it count by committing yourself to a three-step process.
- Decide what actions you’ll take as a result of the feedback you’ve received.
- Prioritise these actions according to your organisation's needs and your personal goals.
- Diarise them and make time to act on them .
Could your team benefit from developing a feedback culture?
Contact Joanna to discuss how she helps teams develop a feedback culture to improve performance and relationships.
Read on
You’ll find great relationship-building tips and insights from Joanna in her book, Getting On: Making work work, which is currently discounted to £12.99 on Amazon for CLL delegates (usual print price £14.99) using code CLL252 until Sunday 25 May 2025.
See you in October for…
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